It's Sunday, the sun is shinning, birds are birding...flowers are...flowering? Overall, nature is out there being its glorious, miraculous self...and I'm stuck inside a tiny cubicle of office space listening to middle-school era dance music, and watching inebriated college girls face (and fail miserably) an epic battle with their 6" heels.

     I've never been a huge party goer. I had a brief stint of minor alcoholism in my senior year of high school, but so did (probably) the other 80% of American teenagers out there. Also, at least 8/10 girls here are wearing dresses so short I'm expecting an ass-cheek to fall out any second...but at least they won't have to worry about overheating like all the men wearing tuxedos.

     One observation I've made about drunk biddies? They use their high heels as their excuse of why they can't walk straight. Which is funny, because they definitely ARE drunk, and I'm wondering how many ankles are going to be in need of icing tomorrow because these girls are so stubborn. Also, most of the frat party we're hosting takes place outside on the lawn. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret: High heels and grassy lawns do NOT mix. Add in alcohol and you have the perfect recipe for disaster. I think all these girls should just revert back to elementary school, and start pretending the grass is lava...for their own safety!

     The thing that depresses me about this is before I always stood by all judgmental (or amused, depends how much their level of drunken stupidity affects my day) because they were all kids my age, and I sure as hell didn't act as graceless as them...crap-scallions. Sadly, today, it hit me: even the UPPERCLASSMEN of this fraternity are younger than I am. Fuck, I feel old! I know I'm not actually old, in the grand scheme of things...but the fact that I also no longer recognize any of the music they're playing does not reassure me. Or maybe it does...music today sucks so I should probably be happy I don't recognize the current Lil Wayne song playing downstairs. (Hey, at least I can still identify Weezy, right? 'Cause that's obviously what's an important, determining factor in age...)