The Societal Deception of Self-Image vs. True Beauty

     Internet, I know it's been a while since I've written to you.

     I also know I broke my promise to write in you every day literally the day I made said promise. I just don't like constrictions --okay!? Haha, I'm just kidding. I have been in a funk with writing; not because there is a lack of things to write about, but because there are in fact a surplus of excruciatingly important topics I don't know how to even BEGIN to explain. First off, why is there so much sadness and fear in the world right now? Not that there hasn't always been sadness and fear, but the topic I'm referring to is this ridiculous and gruesome series of bombings taking place in the Boston area.

     Now, I've never been to Boston, but it's a city I've always been fascinated by and wanted to visit. It's not that I'm never going to visit due to this series of events, but I'm disappointed in the amount of fear it has instilled in me. I'm also disappointed that today I was very caught up in my self-image getting ready for work, and that I was letting the way I looked bring me down emotionally (even though realistically, I know I look fine and no one is probably paying attention anyways!)

     Then I had an epiphany; perhaps self-image issues don't just stem from what the media and society claims is "acceptable" or "attractive," but maybe for some people it is a reflection of the way we feel inside. I felt in insurmountable amount of guilt when I realized how silly it was of me to be concerned about things so trivial, when there are people who can't leave their houses today (nay, every day!) in fear of losing their life! Now, I'm sure there is still a large percentage of the population who is just simply narcissistic, but maybe the path to feeling beautiful and confident must be found by figuratively starting from the inside-out.

     I haven't figured out a way to make myself feel useful to society or my environment, and until I do I doubt I'll ever be truly happy with my overall self-image. Brain storming process has initiated on how to change this factor about myself...but I think it's a good idea for everyone to take a step back and reevaluate themselves every now and then: you may just discover something about yourself you never noticed before.